


THE (INFAMOUS) COFFEE SHOP au By: Urie-Ly_CuTe

by DemonProcrastiNerd



Series: D. Crime Agency [2]
Category: Bandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 23:44:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6399055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemonProcrastiNerd/pseuds/DemonProcrastiNerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>its something ryan wrote during the course of DCA<br/>(its going to be a chapter later in DCA, but it can be read on its own too so...)</p>
            </blockquote>





	THE (INFAMOUS) COFFEE SHOP au By: Urie-Ly_CuTe

A bored Brendon Urie sighed at his desk. He was filled to the brim with thought of nothingness and thoughts of his beloved Ryan. Resting his head in his hand, he looked around. There was nothing going on in this godforsaken office now that everything had died down. There were no fun cases, so he and Ryan just left all the minor and boring stuff the CC and Ronnie. Both of which Urie found to be annoying as hell. 

"There's nothing to do." Ryan Ross whined from the desk across. He was bored as well, and as he glanced up he saw Brendon lazily nodding his head in agreement. Ross bit his lip, trying to distract himself from Brendon's lips. Holy God those lips were something else, like if lips could be worshipped, those lips he would worship for the rest of his life. Checking the clock, he noticed that both of them had their lunch break in exactly thirty seconds. 

"Hey Ry want to go out to eat?" Urie asked as he stood up and grabbed his blazer. 

"Sure." Ryan grinned at the nickname. He was pretty much happy to be anywhere as long as Brendon was there with him.

"Hurry up." Brendon bounced as he started heading towards the front door. As they awkwardly walked down the street in silence, Ryan remembered something very vital to the current situation, truthfully it was to stop himself from checking out those hips. 

"Hey I heard about this new bookshop cafe that just opened up not to far. Wanna go check it out?" 

"Lead the way, Ryro." 

"As you wish Bden." He teased as they walked ahead. And if Brendon had been thinking straight, he would have realized that Ryan practically said 'I love you' like Wesley did in The Princess Bride.

The bookshop cafe was a bit small, but large enough that there were still empty tables near the shelves. At the entrance was a small woman. Her hair was entirely cloud white, and was dressed like those grandmas who went to church. 

"Hi, I'm Marge, right this way. Your waitress will be Ro." She said in a politely monotonous voice. The two men smiled thankfully as they were led to a small little table in a corner of the cafe. Before leaving the two, Marge turned around and said, "if I catch either of you acting up, I will seperate both of you." Ryan felt like he was back in Catholic school, and that was not exactly a good feeling. 

Before the two boys could strike up a conversation, a woman even smaller than Marge showed up. Compared to Marge's rigidness, Ro seemed much more relaxed. Her voice was like that kind grandma who made cookies for everyone. 

"Hi, I'm Ro. What would you like to drink?" She asked handing them the small menus.

"I'll have black tea." Ryan smiled.

"Coffee. Black please." Brendon responded politely. Ro glanced between the two of them. 

Nodding, Ro trotted towards the barista. He was a young blonde man who had an angelic voice. However at the moment, he amounted to working at the local Starbucks's competition. 

"Hey sidewalk cafe Marie, I need a black tea and a black coffee for the two lover boys over there." She ordered. For a small woman, she had quite the powerful voice. The blonde boy nodded and scanned the room for his boyfriend who had the same shift. He was nowhere in sight. Lazy jerk..., he thought.

"So how has work been?" Ryan asked nonchalantly, trying to ignore the comment their waitress had made.

"We work across from each other." Brendon laughed sheepishly. Ryan blushed with embarrassment, so much for that conversation.

Ro looked on from the counter, watching to two boys laugh and smile at each other. It seemed like they had completely forgotten about their order and were so engrossed in each other. Slight hand touches and their knees grazing brought to an awkward silence. The boy who had ordered the tea was twirling a strand of his longish brunette hair! While the boy who had ordered the coffee was twiddling his thumbs unconsciously. It was so obvious the two had feelings for each other, if they couldn't see it then they were clearly oblivious idiots. Which they kind of were, at least when it came to anything on the topic of romance.

"And then the lady bought me a smoothie." Brendon exclaimed. As he finished a story about when he used to work at a smoothie place.

"No she didn't!"

"Yes she did." 

"But you worked there?!"

"Exactly. That's what I told her, but no she insisted on buying me a drink."

"Did you get her number?"

"Hell no, I have my eyes set on someone else..." Urie smiled dreamily. Not realizing he used the present tense of the word until it was too late.

"Oh really now?" Ryan narrowed his eyes suspiciously as he started trying to figure out who his friend had secretly been crushing on, although he was jealous of this person who knew not of Urie's affections. Poor Brendon attempted changing the topic, but failed horrifically.

The barista handed Ro the two drinks with a sigh, hoping that those two would already see the hearts in each other's eyes. It was practically like a scene out of Rosario Vampire where Moka and Tsukune looked at each other, hearts everywhere saying each other's names...and then she drinks his blood. Or like in Fairy Tail when Juvia starts daydreaming about her and Gray. That was exactly how they looked. No exaggeration whatsoever.

Ro walked over placing the drinks in front of them. She then grabbed two small plates, one having biscuits and the other had biscottis. As Ryan thanked her for the drinks and snacks, she whispered in his ear, "hey toots, would you just kiss him already." Just as he took a draught of his tea. 

Ryan's eyes widened to the size of saucers, his face was as red as a fire extinguisher. Brendon gave him a questioning look although distracted by those heavenly hands of the amazing Ross., but started laughing as Ryan began choking on his tea.

"Sure go ahead and laugh, don't bother asking if I am okay." He said in a raspy voice, pouting. However he, too started laughing at the sight of Brendon's glasses crooked on his face. 

"Sorry my love, but you know I care." Brendon teased. And then he froze. He just called him love. Urie never called anyone that except for that ex Sara, but she didn' count. Did that mean he...

"Did you just call me love?" Ryan asked in shock as his heart started beating faster, and faster.

"Forget what I said." Urie responded defensively, averting his gaze from the beautiful man in front of him. Ryan continued to stare at him in shock. Fuck it, I'll just go for it, Brendon decided.

"I love you okay. And I understand if you'll never like-" he began, but was cut off by Ryan grabbing him by his collar and the lips of a certain brunette who tasted like tea. Ryan broke off the kiss to whisper, "I love you too."

At that moment, an unhappy Marge was stalking towards them while Ro was fangirling and grinning because they finally kissed. Marge's face turned a ferocious pink that could match Jeffree Star's hair any day. To put it in simpler terms, she was pissed off, and boy were they in for it. Slamming her hands onto their table she glared at them saying, "If the two of you cause anymore trouble I will send you both into the closet."

The two men looked at each other grinning and replied, "Could you? That'd be great."

An angry Marge, not realizing the implications, grabbed by their collars and dragged them to the supply closet yelling that they shall stay there until they repent for their supposed sins. She locked the closet and stormed towards the front of the cafe, glaring at Ro as she passed.

"Why couldn't high school be like this?" Brendon asked in awe, staring at Ryan in the dim light of an ancient light bulb.

"High school?" Ryan asked, unconsciously licking his lips as he checked out the man across from him.

"You know, rondevous in the janitor's closet to get intimate." 

Ross grinned as leaned forward to kiss the lips he had yearned for for so long, he knew exactly what Brendon was talking about. Slowly their hands slid downwards, and they knew exactly where this was going. 

Sadly our dear barista had been in the back getting extra milk cartons when Marge had thrown a fit. As he placed the milk in the small counter freezer, he felt arms wrap around his back. Although he should have been annoyed, he sighed happily.

"Hi Pete." He smiled as felt a familiar nose nuzzled the back of his neck.

"Patrick baby, sorry I'm late. You know I had to get all dolled up for you." Pete's voice was muffled, but his boyfriend knew what he said.

"You don't need makeup babe, I love you for you." Patrick smiled as he turned around to face his boyfriend. Pete only smiled as he chastely kissed his boyfriend. The two quickly resumed their work, although whenever they had the chance there was a cheesy compliment or quick kiss or caress.

While reaching for the can of whipped cream, Pete's elbow accidentally bumped into an open carton of heavy cream. Stepping back, he heard the carton hit the floor and the sound of liquid splashing everywhere. Cursing under his breathe he turned to get paper towels but Patrick stopped him. The two agreed it would be best if Patrick went to get the mop, especially since Pete was known to be accident prone. 

As the blonde barista walked towards the supply closet, he heard rather strange noises coming from somewhere. What the fuck is that noise...you know what I don't even care I'm just gonna go get a mop out of the clos- but his thought was cut short as he opened the door. His eyes widened in pure shock and horror as he yelled, "OMG WHAT THE FUCK?! WHO ARE YOU GUYS- GET OFF EACH OTHER!!! OMG STAHP!! CAN A MAN GET A MOP IN PEACE HERE?!" 

Patrick covered his eyes in disgust at the sight of the two men in a rather... compromisingly intimate position. To make things worse the man with the strange Elvis like haircut moaned in a rather loud voice, "Please god YES RYAN!"

Suddenly the two stopped and looked over, "take." The two ordered as they handed him the mop, grabbed the doorknob, and slammed the door in poor Patrick's face. It took him a moment to realize they were the two lover boys from before. Shivering out of disgust he rushed back to where his boyfriend was and threw the mop onto the linoleum floor. 

Poor Patrick was officially scarred by what he just witnessed. Unluckily for Patrick, when he was distraught we was hungry. 

"What happened?" Pete asked his boyfriend as he handed the last order to Ro.

"Two guys intimately in a closet." He responded in a bare whisper, fearing they would appear in front of him. Pete just nodded and patted Patrick's head. Finally breaking the silence Patrick whined, "I'm hungry."

Grinning, Pete helped his boyfriend up and innocently suggested, "I still have brownies." 

Patrick leaned forward and proceeded to not so innocently whisper in his boyfriend' s ear, "I wants a brownie."

And oh, oh yeah he knew exactly what Patrick was up to now. Slowly the two of them slipped away from the counter to the brake room.

The two leaned against the wall in euphoria. Pete nuzzled his face into Patricks neck, smiling. Reluctantly the blonde man pushed his boyfriend away and readjusted his clothing. The two quickly hurried pack to the counter where Marge was busy talking to some customers and Ro was grinning at them because she knew what happened. She always knew.

"Those two lover boys left." The old woman smiled at them.

"Don't remind me." Patrick shivered at the image that appeared in his mind.

At that moment the man on the next shift came in, his dark hair and beard neatly trimmed. He smiled at them both, "hi guys." 

The two baristas nodded at him and began untying their aprons. They returned to the back to grab their belongings and quickly headed home, not in the mood to clean the mess they had left behind. They ran through the door with a quick goodbye and went on their way back home, holding hands. 

The dark haired barista sighed. He knew what happened back there, and he was kind of disappointed he was still single. Besides, all the hot guys went to the Starbucks down the street. 

He heard the clink of the bell as the door opened and in walked a young man. His hair a dirty blonde, and he still had that adorable baby face. The young man smiled at him, "hi I'm Spencer."

The barista gaped in awe. Since when did the really sexy guys walk into their cafe?! He quickly regained his sanity and smiled, "hi I'm Jon, how can I help you." Because it was Jon, he can't not be working as a barista. 

"Can I get a mocha latte with a shot of espresso?" 

"Sure thing hon." Jon responded, making Spencer blush. Jon decided to take advantage of the situation and asked, "I've never seen you around here before, you new?"

"Yeah, just moved here from Vegas." 

"Wow big change huh?"

"Not really, seems pretty much the same." Spencer smiled. He fiddled with the cuff of his shirt, as he watched the extremely attractive barista make him his coffe. Jon handed him the drink and Spencer winked at him as he told him to keep the change. As Spencer left, Jon decided to be a bit daring for once in his life.

"Spencer wait you forgot something." He called after him, leaving the counter. It didn't matter since there weren't many customers.

"I said you could keep the change." Spencer said. Instead Jon handed Spencer a folded piece of paper.

"Oh thanks I almost forgot my receipt. Wait a minute." Spencer smirked realizing it was his receipt. With Jon's number on it. 

"You're right I did forget something." Spencer said as he leaned forward and gave the barista a quick peck on the cheek. Jon blushed furiously, and asked, "Do you have a job here?"

"Umm not yet why?" 

"So how about working with me" Jon asked and Spencer smiled. He had to tell Ryan "thanks" for helping him pick out his new apartment. Especially since it was near the coffee shop.

 

"Why does everything end up with Pete and Patrick being so adorable? And are you kidding me Jon?!" Brendon exclaimed. He was not happy about this! Who in the agency writes a library/coffee shop AU like that?! Jon walked by with a confused look on his face, but noticed what he was reading and started walking away triumphantly.

Ryan wrapped his arms around Brendon from behind and was about to ask him what he was reading but instead he asked, "Why are you reading my fanfic?" 

Brendon turned around to face his boyfriend and whispers, "I'm hungry."

"I still have brownies."

"I wants a brownie." Urie whispered seductively. Instead Ryan pulled out a bag of triple chocolate brownies from god knows where.

"Here ya go."

Brendon facepalmed, looked at the brunette man in front of him with disappointment, and turned away. 

"Or the mail room?" Ross suggested as he nibbled Urie's hair.

"Too cliche."

"You know you want to." Ryan wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"I don't know."

"Brownies still included."

Brendon turned back to his boyfriend grinning like an idiot. And yeah, he knew exactly where this was going.

 

Later that day it was concluded that no where was safe to have an intimate rondevous at work. Although they should should have known that Sam would walk in on them, especially since he office was right next to the goddamn mail room. What they didn't expect was that when she busted the door open, she was alreadying wearing latex gloves and had her favorite scalpel in hand. 

If Pete had not came down the stairs in time to see what was going on, both secretaries would have lost their manhood.

Without. 

Anesthesia.


End file.
